


Decades

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey, lynch.
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-25
Updated: 2013-04-25
Packaged: 2017-12-09 12:32:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For years I’ve watched them... watched as their interaction became more and more from what it once was. I’ve sat back and seen their relationship grow and fail and then grow once again. Year after year, well over a decade of watching... waiting... praying that one day, it might be my turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decades

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SakuraAme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraAme/gifts).



> Prompt: Because of this, I want an angst fic between Hazuki, Kaoru, and someone else either from lynch or DEG. XD happy ending though.  
> Beta Readers: gothic_hime  
> Song[s]: "Meant to Be" by Hybrid Minds

For years I’ve watched them... watched as their interaction became more and more from what it once was. I’ve sat back and seen their relationship grow and fail and then grow once again. Year after year, well over a decade of watching... waiting... praying that one day, it might be my turn. I’ve watched them go through the happiest parts of their lives together, glued to one another’s sides. And I’ve seen those moments in which they simply couldn’t wait to be alone to claim something more between one another.

I’ve watched the man I’ve admired... no... loved... my entire life simply devour his lover. I’ve stood back and said not a word as they’ve fought so harshly I thought for certain it’d rip the band in two. And I’ve stood by their side as the most loving moments I’ve ever seen between two people have transpired in their midst. Simply put, their relationship has always been something of a love and hate type of thing. It’s never been in between and perhaps it is that one fact that has finally ripped them apart.

No matter what it is, it’s my doorstep he’s come crawling to once again. And, as I always have, I open my home and my arms to him, allow him to sweep me away in the ebb of this horrible tidal wave. Tonight, he’s significantly more gone than he has been in the past. Our normal routine has faltered and I’m left with nothing but confusion in the remnants of this battle.

It’s always been a step-by-step process with this. Kaoru and Kyo will love one another so deeply nothing else could ever come between them. Then they will fight; all of the words, the daggers of pure hatred and anger will come out, and invariably it will mean another two month rift in their relationship. It’ll take about a week and then Kaoru will appear on my doorstep, usually less than sober, and I’ll invite him into my home... into my life. I am, and always have been, his safe zone. Some nights, he will pull it further than others... I’ve been caught in the brunt of his physical needs more than once, but it’s never gone beyond drunken groping and kissing. In the morning, he’ll apologize and ask if he can crash here for a while since they’ve been living together for about the past five years now. And I always relent, always open my spare bedroom to his presence.

On a more personal level, my reaction is always the same. I find false hope in the fact that he’s come to me. I allow myself the belief that maybe there’s something to it... that he knows I love him and maybe in some world, he might love me back as well. And during that month or so that he stays with me, I invariably fall deeper in love with him while he sorts out his and Kyo’s relationship once again. And then some morning, I wake and he is gone... not but a memory floating on a piece of paper taped to my fridge. And then I crash and burn, worse than any other time in my life. My own process is equally as fucked up to try and get over him, yet again. Alcohol... sometimes more... women and men alike, anything I can try to find solace in. Depression... and then realization that I’ve been a fool for the millionth time. Only for the whole process to repeat itself and him to arrive on my doorstep yet again. And I never stop making the same mistakes. I can’t. Because the love in my heart will never die.

He showed up a few hours ago, already wavering on his feet, his eyes glassy with the alcohol in his system, and he bid entry into my house, which I allowed. For a while, we simply sat and talked in my living room. But now... now things have changed course. He’s already moved to pawing at me nearly half an hour ago and it’s becoming a losing battle on my part. I’ve never slept with him... not in all these years. But he’s making it awful hard to keep up my track record right now. His mouth is doing sinful things to my neck, and the way he’s got me pinned against the couch, his cock pressing firmly against my ass, is making me want so much more than I know I should. I’m hard and I know he can feel it.

I’m losing my mind and he’s driving the careening bus with my mind in it recklessly around every curve. His hands are everywhere, pawing at me over and over, touching all the right spots. When his fingers finally land on my sweat pants and untie them pushing them down my hips, I can’t find it in me to argue. I want him beyond any rationality. And the fact that he’s readily admitted to me that it’s already been over between him and Kyo for near a month makes it so much easier. He’s waited this time... and there’s a finality to his voice that I haven’t found there in the past.

Some part of me knows I’m just a rebound, knows that this can’t last. But the other part of me just wants to feel him, even if only one time. My hips jerk upward as he slides my pants down my thighs and then helps me get one leg out of them, leaving the other in without a care in the world. The whiskey on his breath hits my nose a moment before his mouth closes over my own and we’re caught in the most delicious kiss.

I spread my legs to him and arch upward, doing my best to show him I’ll take whatever he wants right then. He guides my hands to his belt and I make fast work of it, ridding him of the confines of his clothing in nothing flat. I break from the kiss as I push his clothing out of the way, watching as his cock springs free. He’s more than I ever imagined. My fingertips slide along his shaft, his hips pushing forward into my touch. Silently, I allow my forefinger to drag over the head of his cock, smearing the dampness of his pre-cum around the tip before grasping his shaft and stroking a few times, watching his foreskin pull up over the head and then draw back down to reveal the entirety of the ruddy head to my gaze. “Gorgeous,” I breathe out, my own cock flexing enough to raise it up from my stomach and then lightly smack it back down.

He seems to notice, his hand coming out to trail over my length as well, first the palm of his hand, just pressing my cock to my abdomen, and then his fingertips encircling me as I begin to rhythmically stroke his cock. For a while we’re both content to simply touch, to explore. His warm hand around my shaft is nearly my undoing, the hand I’ve wanted there for so many years, finally jacking me off. But I hold it back, knowing I need to wait, that I don’t want to cum just yet.

“Let me suck you off.” I don’t expect the words and the moment they register, nothing but shock comes out for a moment, a moan that clearly defines my answer bubbling up rather than any actual reply. A moment later he’s hunkered down over me, tongue trailing over my length, swirling around the head as his hand works me. My hips arch slightly, my foreskin finally sliding fully down under the ridge of the head of my cock to stay, and he finds the tiny dip just under the head to flick his tongue over, making me cry out in absolute pleasure. 

“You’re so fucking horny,” he whispers out against my cock before he slides his mouth over my entire cock, taking me in like a pro. My hand lands on the back of his head and I cry out as he takes me so far I can feel my cock hit the back of his throat. My body shudders and in that moment, I know I’m completely done for. I’m going to cum in his mouth and there’s no way out of this.

My head falls back, my eyelids fluttering shut of their own accord, my whimpering moan slipping free of my lips. “Kaoru,” I breathe out, a certain amount of desperation in my voice as I whisper out his name. He sucks harder and begins to bob his head as I stroke my hand through those beautiful curls of his.

When it hits me, I don’t even have time to do anything other than ride it out. I cum harder than I can remember ever doing so, my mind going blank as I arch my back, thigh muscles straining as I lift up off the seat and push my cock into his mouth. As I let go, I can feel him swallowing around me, taking all of my offering inside of himself. It’s all so erotic I know I can cum again, one of the rare instances in which I can push past the pleasure-pain and shove into the need to cum a second time.

Pulling out of his mouth, I haul him up against me, the final spurt of my cum spilling out onto my belly as I do it. A second later, he’s pressed against me, my hands on his ass and his cock sliding alongside my own as he humps himself against me. My own hips frantically meet with his, a frenzy of our combined lust culminating in the inability to get further than this.

He’s moaning as he strains over me, his face a mask of concentration and bliss. His hips thrust against my own in a desperate sort of manner, our cocks sliding alongside one another through the mess of my cum. I’m trembling from the effort and his voice is getting louder and louder, more and more wanton as the moments pass us by in this whirlwind of glorious excitement.

“Hazuki,” he finally breathes out, his hips stilling even as I hump against him frantically, my balls already tight for my second orgasm. I’m so close and I don’t want him to cum without me. I throw myself into it, even as my leg cramps, I continue to thrust as though I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t.

His body shudders forcefully and he lets out the most amazing sound I’ve ever heard in my life a second before his cock twitches for the first time and a thick spurt of cum rains down on me. My cock slides over his as the second shot comes, my dick catching most of it on the upward thrust. And that’s all I need. My own orgasm starts as I cry out in shock, my own cum shooting out more forcefully than ever before, landing across my chest and shoulder. More of his warm cum drips down over my belly and I give my second spurt as I drag my cock over his own, smearing it along his length. We both cum for what feels like forever, alternating shots until we’re empty, both of us still rubbing our spent cocks against one another until we can’t stand it any longer.

He collapses over me, barely hanging onto the back of the couch, and I shift enough to get us comfortable, tugging him down on me. He relaxes and for a few moments, we simply sit and catch our breathes. Finally, he looks up into my eyes, his cheeks still stained with the pleasure of what we’ve just done, and he lets out a little chuckle. “How long?”

“Hnn?” I can’t find a more rational response than that, in all honesty.

He stares at me for a long moment and then shakes his head a little. “How long have you wanted this?”

I’m stunned for a moment, almost afraid to answer, and then finally it slips out without my permission. “Years. Every time you’ve come to me, I’ve wanted you to stay... to be mine instead.”

His fingertips brush through my hair and he doesn’t answer for what seems like an eternity. Finally, he offers me a smile and presses his finger to my lips. “But you never asked.”

I shake my head a little and close my eyes. “I didn’t want to come between you and him.”

His breath caresses my ear as he leans in and then whispers in my ear, “It’s been you I come to for a reason.”

My hands come to rest on his back, holding him against me as I lay there beneath him, completely at a loss as to what to do or even say. It’s more than I could have ever hoped for and yet, all the same, it’s saddening. Finally, my fingers curl in his shirt and I just close my eyes once again. “Then don’t leave me behind this time.”

There’s the barest moment of hesitation and then, “I won’t. I promise.”

And it’s all I need to hear... all I ever needed to hear.

**The End**


End file.
